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| Hpathy Ezine - July, 2007 | ||||
A Fish Out of Water-- Dr. Sujit Chatterjee |
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| Mr. P.A., 54 years. Retake was done on 8th Dec. 05 Previous medicines: Kali carb. Pulsatilla. D: I will ask you certain questions again and again. Doesn’t mean I am not following you. Don’t feel bad about that. To go deeper at certain point, certain question I will ask again, and please co-operate. Whatever best homeopathy can do for you, I will do. What are your problems? P: Firstly I presume this is a…. this problem of sneezing, cough and cold. I sneeze since last…. Too much. Especially this year there is morning blast…. from the childhood only I remember…. That is I remember I am suffering from this. The day I start sneezing, morning I will start early morning. I start then almost it is unabated for throughout the day. Many times I do find that in 1 breath I do for at least 4-5 times, 4-5 breathings. Especially there is a change, a particular change I find on that particular day that the day I sneeze I feel too much hunger. Morning, I will have breakfast, but still at 8-9 o’clock again I feel that I’ll take something, whatever; I will pick up something and eat it. Lunch, mostly I take at about 1-1.30 or 2 o’clock. If, on a particular day I feel hungry, I will eat lunch at 11 or 11:30 and it certainly affects my working. I feel little bit irritated, uneasy. I feel I am sweating also. I do a lot of sweating also. This time, last few days back I tried some thing but during this day when I was sneezing I wear a cap, little cap on my head and whole day I kept it on. And I felt… some better change actually. Probably that day, sneezing was less. Density was quite less. So, I am not sure may be because of it or something else. And last few days I went to Allopath, only at Chembur, he gave me one tablet Anti allergy or whatever it is there. I don’t know anti allergic he told me that. He told me that you take it for about 30-40 days continuously. But I had to leave, for 5-6 days I took and after that I found that my sneezing stopped and I started coughing. Means it dried. Sneezing no doubt I sneeze too much, I get tired because of this too much of sneezing, but coughing is not there. I don’t have any headache or any other problem. It clears, that means my…. but the day I start coughing, some other problem starts. I had a very tough coughing, so I had to take a tablet, re-tablet, I have to take 10 tablets for that coughing. Cough, very dried up virtually. The day I sneeze, even if I sneeze this much but I take bath it is my psychological or whatever it is, I feel…. Due to sneezing earlier days I missed my bath. But I found that my cough is dried so after that I have made it a habit of taking bath everyday. Normally other than winter season, I take bath with cold water only. But in this…… warm water I use during this cold season or otherwise when I sneeze that particular day I use warm water for my bathing. I take bath everyday. May be I am not using soap or anything, but I put cold water on my head and everything. That I do everyday. And one little I feel whatever this particular…. I have got this bout. I feel my stomach is not clearing properly that period. Mostly I go early morning, at….. I go for clearing my bowel. So I get up in the morning I have a glass of water. Even before, taking tea after 10 minutes after getting up I go to toilet. But during this period I vacuumed, once it doesn’t clear. My stomach is not clearing so I may have to go once again, before taking bath. After 1 hour or so after taking a cup of tea also. Night time, even otherwise also I find my nose gets choked up and I stop breathing through nose, nostrils, I breathe through my mouth only. That might cause some irritation to my family, my wife and my child. Because they say that I snore too much. And may be because of this… sometimes I feel that nighttime when I sleep, I feel breathless sometimes. As I gasp for…as if a fish is taken out of water. As if it is gasping (HG) for some water, I gasp for air. Whenever I get up (HG) [HG stands for "hand gesture"] and sit I get some relief. In the nighttime, I get relief if I sit for sometime. I get some relief. My food habit is I don’t have a very heavy diet in the morning or evening. I prefer having small dishes… that means lunch and this…. It is not heavy. I take about 3 wheat pancakes. Then I go for 3-4 wheat pancakes at night. Day times I take 2 wheat pancakes and some rice. But evening time again I need something before that, with tea some snacks or something. I prefer, bread butter or something. I take tea. Tea, morning time and if I am at home morning time I take 2 cups of tea, and evening time I go for at least 2 cups. So 4 cups a day in the holidays I take. But in office density is more. In the office I take… if anybody comes in the office I have to share. So I take few more cups of tea. As such bad habit – tea is only bad habit. I don’t smoke, earlier I used smoke I was smoking for almost 17 years. In those 10-15 years I was a heavy smoker. I was smoking almost about 3 packets a day. Last I left it in 1987. After that I have not touched the smoking. But today if anybody smokes in front of me, I get irritated. I avoid that place. Smoking I have… or betel leaf I don’t take, tobacco I don’t chew. And drinks and all I take very rarely. Some parties a peg or two; once in a month or once in 2-3 months or 4 months like this. One peg or two peg. Food habits I like all types of food the veg, non-veg. In non-veg we take fish more. Mutton we take very rarely. In our house we don’t bring chicken. Or mutton also very rarely we take. Fish we take. But fish also I take a very small amount only. Small 1 or 2 pieces only. And due to this cough and cold I cannot take fruits of my choice. It was earlier also, I was….. I used to like banana but because of this I have stopped taking banana. Banana it was my favorite fruit. Fruit almost I can say that I don’t take any fruits. At home, night sleeping I use one T-shirt or whatever it is. T-shirt or baniyan while sleeping. But summer I don’t use that. Summer I keep my body naked only. At home I don’t wear slippers. Bathroom slipper whenever I go to bathroom that time only. I don’t wear slippers. I keep my legs open only. But out of home, I always use shoes. I don’t use chappals or anything. Lately this has made a psychological effect on me and I have become a desperate person now. As if that this sneezing is going to take life long (HG). This is the reason, because I am desperate now. I have… last time I believe up to this monsoon when I saw that no matter what I take or don't take, I am sneezing; so, I stopped all restrictions. I took cold drinks also, I took butter milk also. Even if I am sneezing, I am taking this. I said with this also I sneeze, otherwise also I sneeze. Now whatever I feel like having I take it. I said with this or without that if the reason is same then with this only I will enjoy. I feel that I am getting some relief. Sneezing naturally my working capacity also it decreases. My working capacity, my energy level dips. From family side, I don’t take much tension about my family. My wife only, she takes care of my child in every respect. We may not be having very sweet relations but we don’t have any problems as such. Say in our family I have no complaints about my wife or my child. Office side tension is there, as it remains with the job. But there also I don’t take much. I accept it as it comes. I accept it and do my job. I think I have covered almost all the things. Any specific question? D: Something more you would like to add? P: I sleep for about 5 hours 5-6 hours. 5 hours I get to sleep, 5-5 ½. At around 11 o’clock now we have disconnected the cable, so we go to sleep early. I go to sleep early at 11 o’clock OK. So morning I get up at 5 o’clock. So 5-5 ½ hours I sleep. My sleep is as such I get a good sleep. Rarely do I find sometimes in a month or once or twice in a month that I don’t get deep sleep. Otherwise my sleep…. I have a deep sleep. That dreaming and all, that portion I don’t have much. I get a good sleep. Because, the whole day I don’t take rest. The whole day I am so tired. I go to bed. As I go to bed at around at 11-11.30, I sleep. I do not take any B.P. tablets or anything. I don’t have B.P., no diabetics, Acidity. I have got slight acidity. But still it is because of the diet I take. This abides food. I like the snacks, If I like I take one ‘Samosa’ or ‘Vada’ those things I take. That may by causing that. Because of that I feel little pain in the chest. But it goes. It may be because of gas or something. D: What type of pain? P: Slight pain. It is acidity type pain sometimes here, (shows), sometimes here, it moves. D: At one point you said, you feel breathless at night as if fish is out of water. P: Yes. D: Describe that feeling in much detail. P: Because I am sleeping now. Suddenly I feel that (gesture) I get up immediately. I feel that I am not getting the breath (HG) properly, whatever I need. The body needs that much extra oxygen only. So I open my mouth and full I breathe. Full oxygen I take 4-5 times (shows) this type I breath. Breathe 4-5 times. If I don’t feel… still I feel uneasy, I get up and sit for 2-3 minutes. I will sit 5 minutes.. Then I will again for sometime and then I will go to bed. I will sleep again. D: It makes a lot of sense what you are describing. Describe the uneasiness little more? P: In this only? D: Like somebody has stopped (HG) stopped my breathing. Somebody put me (HG) this (HG) this something that… somebody put my chest (HG) somebody is pressing. Or somebody is sitting on my chest or something. That’s why it is causing. (HG) I am unable to take my full breath. D: Somebody is sitting on your chest……… P: Chest (HG) D: As well as you did, this. P: Ya, something this type (HG) I am not able to………. D: Not this, you did this gesture. P: Ya, this type (HG) or you may say there is a combination of this. D: What is that? Describe both in detail? P: This particular thing I have noticed that wherever I sleep flat on my bed. When I sleep flat on my bed. I keep my hands here (Shows) and now because of that only I get something. D: Not logical. P: No, there is no logic. D: The feeling? Whatever you are saying lot of sense? Somebody puts pressure on the chest. P: Pressure on the chest, (HG) As if somebody is putting. Because I don’t put anything on my body. I don’t like anything on my sleeping. My wife if she keeps her hand, I just remove her hand away. I say, you remove your hand from my body it should be free, when I am sleeping. D: Describe that uneasiness, little more? P: The one is this… D: Again, Little more uneasiness. I said certain questions I will ask again. P: Yes, yes (Pause) This is not exactly the (HG) but chest, somebody is pressing my chest. As if somebody is pressing my chest, because of that I am unable to take my full breath, so I gasp. (HG) Immediately I just (HG) move my hands away and try to take full breath. I mean if I am fully uneasy then I sit for some time, night time. D: Describe that little more? Somebody is pressing my chest. P: That’s a peculiar fact but I have this type of feeling with that. D: It is important tell me? P: Because even if I am sleeping alone. My wife is not…… my wife and my child are not with me, I am sleeping at home, that time also I have this type of feeling. D: What is that feeling? P: The similar, that I don’t get… somebody is pressing (HG) my chest, somebody is pressing my chest, body I am not able to breath. D: Somebody is pressing my chest and body. This is a peculiar feeling, what is this? P: So, this is actually, this is my gesture that when I… body sometimes it becomes like this. This slight stiffness comes and I (gesture) immediately, my sleep actually breaks and I get up. D: Stiffness I didn’t follow. Somebody is pressing my chest, it’s a peculiar fact, even if wife is not there, you get that feeling. P: Yes, my wife is not there, sometimes outside also whenever I am sleeping out. D: Please co-operate with me. Do this gesture. P: (HG) D: As if someone is pressing your chest and this was your gesture. 2-3 times you already did. Do it. P: (HG) D: And experience what is happening. P: (gesture). This type I breathe. D: How is your experience, when you say fish out of water? P: You can see that fish….. live fish whenever it is kept it starts jumping (HG) similar way I just, come out as if I was unable take my breath, I have just come out of that feeling and I am trying to take maximum air. D: Come out I didn’t follow? P: Come out means whatever in that…… I, I was there, and I was unable to get that sleep… breath in that particular sleeping posture. So, I am coming out or I am just getting up. D: And this? One is breathless here. P: Yes. D: When you were gasping for breath, your hands are these – what could be this? P: I am not actually. (HG) D: No, you are doing extremely well. Whatever is happening…. P: That I am telling. D: Every time I am asking you are adding something. P: Yes. (HG) D: If someone is pressing on your chest, what you are trying to say with this? P: (HG) May be same… that only feelings. D: What feelings? P: (HG) That means I am trying to (HG) just push him. Whatever it is on the chest. Just throwing (HG) it out. I am trying to…. From my internal body, I am trying to recollect all my strength. Somebody is overpowering me and I am just trying to recollect all my strength. Somebody is overpowering me and I am just trying to recollect all my strength and just pushing it out (HG) of my body. D: How does that feel? P: Then immediately I get up (gesture) with ….(gesture) I get up. D: With all your strength if…. Someone is overpowering you, you can push it back. P: Yes, that I am trying to (HG ) pushing it back. D: Then how does that…. if you can? P: That’s I said, immediately (gesture), I use that method (HG), with this ‘jhatka’ (HG) type I give, a jerk, (HG) good jerk. D: How does that feel after that “jhatka”? P: (HG) same…. This sleep is now broken. That continuity is broken. I get up. D: One second before the ‘jhatka’ what’s the feeling, when someone is overpowering. P: My wife sometime she says that in sleep I am dreaming is there it may be I don’t know whether it is a dreaming or what. You can call it dreaming. She said, one day I was saying ‘chor’, ‘chor’, ‘chor’ (thief) or something …Some unusual noise comes out of my mouth (makes the sound). Sometimes very rarely it comes, but it comes sometimes. Breathing, sleeping time if I sleep on the lateral side (shows left lateral) then normally I can sleep. But right hand side, I am not comfortable with right side posture. D: As I said, with my experience certain things are very important in Homeopathy and if we understand what they are, it is better. So with the main problem, breathlessness is your main problem. You just forget now about the breathlessness, about the sneezing, about the night. Just concentrate on the peculiar phenomenon, someone is overpowering, putting pressure on your chest and you are pushing it out. Be in that experience and tell me as much you can tell. That experience, not logic. P: This doesn’t have any logic but… that’s what I………. D: Do that action and gesture again and whatever comes. You did extremely well. It is a peculiar fact someone is overpowering me. P: Overpowering me. D: What is overpowering, if I don’t follow English. P: As I am sleeping, somebody sits on my chest or somebody is sitting on (HG) my chest and trying to… and that is causing me lot of difficulty in taking my breath. My breathing (HG) stops. Sinking feeling starts. Whatever this strength (HG) I am unable to breath. I am not getting the full breath. So if (HG)… what to do, what to do; then suddenly (gesture) then I throw it like this (interesting gesture) this happens. D: Lot of sense, this “three” little more. Breathing stops, sinking feeling & suddenly you throw it. First describe more about breathing stops and sinking feeling. P: I am sleeping, or normally in sleep we breath slowly. Strong breathing stops, slowly we breathe. Then suddenly I feel that I am unable to get that breath also. I am unable to get that, or there is something which is overpowering me (HG) and that is causing me a hardship that I am unable to breath properly. So I try to…. I feel now…. As if now… that sinking feeling is I am…(HG) without oxygen what will be my condition? So, I (HG) hold the courage, that something is there. Whichever, whatever is there on my body I want to throw it out (HG) and with that full force (HG) what I use, many times. I got hurt also, on the wall. I throw this hand like this (HG) and I get up. Then I breathe 4-5 times (HG) Deep breath I take…. But still if I feel little more uneasy then I sit for sometime. And few times it happened that I got up and I just strolled in the room for 5-10 minutes in the hall for 5-10 minutes and then I went to sleep again, after having a glass of water. D: You said without oxygen, what will be my condition? What will be your condition without oxygen? P: That is death. D: Describe that feeling. Not logic, in that sleeps…. Sleep. During sleep, the experience. P: During sleep whenever I am not getting the oxygen, that means I am unable to breathe. (HG). My breathing stops. It is…… I am dying. I am unable to take oxygen. So everything is stopped. (HG) It is choked. I am unable to take the oxygen. I may be dying, so that desperation (HG) comes in this.[In my mind ? birth process] That I try to come out of this (HG). Then I whatever I …. Collect all my, recollect all my energy and everything and I try to (HG) push (HG) out of it. I try to throw (HG) it. When I am trying to throw it my hands (HG). Many times my body shakes (gesture), full body shakes and then I get up. D: I am very sorry to ask you this question. P: Yes, yes, no problem. D: I am dying and choke little more about this experience choke. P: Choke. I mean (HG) oxygen I am not getting. That oxygen I am not getting. Because whatever it is somebody is sitting on my chest or that but is choked. Complete choked. (HG). This oxygen I am unable to take. I am unable to inhale the oxygen (HG) and slowly my body…. I am dying now. D: What is choke? P: Choked. Choked means… it is one of….choked that word…. If we close (shows) our mouth and our nose both; so I am not going to get oxygen. Somebody (HG) is putting…. I am not getting the oxygen. Because it is been completely (HG) stopped. This feeling… this oxygen I am not getting this feeling comes. D: What is this? P: That is the reason (HG) where, this is my expression (HG). D: Now? P: This is my expression of desperation. That is because….. as I am feeling that it is because of something which is not allowing me to take my oxygen, that’s why to throw (HG) it out, to spill (HG) it away, throw (HG) I just use my hands (HG) and just (HG) get up and I take breath. Breathing I take. What is the reason I have to take breath? Deep breaths I am taking after that happens. D: How does that feel? P: That’s what (gesture) D: What’s the feeling now? P: (Gesture) That means…. Then slowly it calms down. D: What’s the feeling? P: Then slowly it calms down. My brain also slowly calms down (gesture). Then slowly I become normal. D: What is the feeling? P: Then relief. D: How does that feel? P: Now, that’s relief (gesture) I get relief, complete relief. That means, I have (HG) come out of this. Then suddenly, I find there is nothing, but I am sleeping on my bed. D: Be in that experience, this was your gesture to say relief, come out of this? P: I am just relieved (Gesture) D: Describe relieved, little more with this gesture? Physically how does that feel? P: (gesture) The hands which were just like this (HG) just I (HG) released it and get that full relief, that I am…. Whatever I was getting that I was unable to take…. Inhale the oxygen that I got it now. This is the relief I get from that problem, that breathing problems. D: Why gesture should be like this, when you are relieved, released? P: Gesture now…. D: Doesn’t matter feel it and tell me what’s this? Do it once more. Moment you got your oxygen, this was your gesture. P: (Gesture) D: Don’t concentrate on hands. Whatever comes? P: No, it comes like this only, that I am relieved (HG) D: How is the experience of relieved. Describe relieved experience little more. P: (Pause) Relieved, normally what it comes that I have said. I am unable to explain it. D: O.K. Now only this. What comes to your mind? If you do like this way, what comes to your mind. P: (HG) It’s O.K. D: How does O.K. feels to you? P: It is normal. It is O.K. now. I am O.K. I am O.K. D: Again as I said certain question I will ask you. Again Every time I am asking I am going deeper. P: O.K. no problem. D: So, he is with me for one hour more? P: Yes, yes. No problem. You are asking…. I have come for this only. I want to get some….. D: And I am sure, I will be able to help you? P: O.K. D - Describe that desperation., this action now? P: (Pause) In the sleep, as I am sleeping, probably…. D: Those followed, those followed. Someone is pressing on your chest, up to that I have followed. P: Yes. D: And choking up to that followed. P: Yes. D: You are getting oxygen, that is also followed. P: Yes, I am not getting oxygen. D: So, you are dying, that also followed. P: How to come out of it, in that case in that desperation, just to come out of this phase, I just use (HG) this hands away from my chest. (HG) From this (HG) to away from my chest and I get that relief. Then I am able to… and with this (HG) mostly I feel that, that with this my sleep…. The continuity of my sleep. D: Describe, hands away from my chest? P: May be during sleeping (HG) I am keeping my hands on my chest, like this (shows) many times. So this is the reason…. That’s why (gesture) when I take it out, this is normal (HG) this and this. That is… I am trying to, first I am trying to get the strength (HG), so then suddenly this strength only (HG) the hand it comes out. D: Trying to get the strength, didn’t follow? P: That the same thing, that somebody is pressing my body. So as I want to save my self, as I want to protect myself from that thing, which is causing me, not to take the normal breath and I am slowly. I am dying, I am sinking, I am dying. I would die if I don’t get….. That’s why my hands in desperation, I show my hands. The hands (HG) are there on the chest, I throw it out (HG) outside. Many times I find this I have, knocked, and banged the wall next to my bed. I have banged the wall. D: Now listen, in this context why you do this, I followed. Now I don’t want to understand the context. I want to understand the physics of your hand movement. When you are banging the wall, it is called energy. It has a lot of energy. P: It has lot of energy. D: That energy I am trying to understand. I know that you are Engineer, you will be able to explain me better physics of that – this. May be from there you can start. Before part is clear to me. You are getting strength. I want to save or perfect myself. Something is on you. Something like that and you are banging…. P: Just like that (HG) D: The wall. Just this movement. P -(HG) This is the hands I am doing. Whatever is there I am throwing (HG) it out. Or if something is there on my chest I am throwing it out (HG) D: Do it once more? P: (HG) on my chest I am throwing it out like this (HG) just (HG) D: Once more please. P: (HG) D: For the last time. P: (Gesture) D: What comes to your mind now? P: Just throwing (HG) it, whatever it is there on my body. Pushing it away (HG) But I get so much of energy, once it is released, that time I don’t have any control. It is once (HG) is gained on this and now it is released, (HG) so I don’t have any control (HG) now unless that energy. Once mechanic that force is there so it how to go, somewhere it has to end. So, it bangs the wall from the bed. D: So much energy and you have no control speak more about that. P: So much of….. Now there in sleep…. During sleep time, now anything you do with. Hand, now you are banging (shows) we are using control. I know that this is a table now, I cannot bang it. If I bang it with more force than I am going to injure my hands. I am now in sense. But during my sleep I am not in senses, but I am feeling that my…. In my subconscious mind. I am feeling that something is there on my chest, which is not allowing me to breathe properly. So, it goes on the fight goes on for sometime. I try to speak out or something or…. But I am unable to. And finally when I feel that it is almost the end of my life then at that time, I gather all my forces (HG) and hands may be on my chest at that particular time, I gather all my energies on my hand and just (HG) release it. My hands (HG) goes up. Now since I am sleep I don’t have any control on (HG) this hand. This energy whatever I have gained (HG) anyway it is going ….. it has to hit somewhere. D: Describe that energy? P: That same there is a good energy. I have taken it is going to (HG). This is almost is (HG) now I am still in senses, so it goes (HG) goes and stops here. D: But in sleep. P: In sleep, it is a wall. Goes and bangs. D: Describe this energy? P: (HG) like this. D: Just describe the energy. P: (HG) D: Energy can be described it mass, movement, direction, speed, force. P: Yes, it is in that… whatever it is, now it is…. It is…. I feel it is something… some opposite force is on my chest. Now to counter that force, I have to use more force or energy. I have to use more force to remove to dispel it. D: More force to. P: To dispel it (HG) to throw it away, to move it (HG). Anything is coming on me (Gesture) to stop it. I have to use more force, otherwise it is going to push (gesture) me. So, if my energies…. If I am not using more energy than the opposite person or that vehicle. Now a vehicle (HG) if a vehicle is coming opposite direction. (HG) I have a push, I have to first…. Neutralize (HG) the same force. The same force will neutralize the force, the more it will push (HG) it. More it will push it (HG). Now it is on, my chest. I am unable to. I am feeling that it is a dream. Its pressing me or my body or it is pressing me. I am unable to take breath, so I use the full force whatever it is there in my body, I take it, I concentrate on this, hands or whatever is there on my chest and I just (gesture) push it like this with force and it goes. Immediately I feel my sleep is O.K. D: What is dispel? More force to dispel. P: Dispel means (HG) throwing away. To throw, dispel. It like (HG) D: Once more the energy. I am sorry; I will ask you again and again. Because you are doing it with lot of energy. P: Yes, yes, full force. D: And you are banging the…. P: Walls, I have banged many times. D: No patient has described choking with to much of energy. So, I need to understand this energy. Describe the energy? I am sorry, I am asking you. P: No, its okay. D: I am sorry because I am asking the same question and I am happy you are adding something more every time and you are doing it very sincerely. I appreciate it very much. The term you said is more force to dispel, throw, repel, push, some vehicle, something like neutral, something pressing, this much I followed. P: Whatever thing it is on my chest or that feeling, that has got a more strength then my normal body has. So whenever we take breath, it is an open chest, with a certain…. We are able to breathe, this full stomach and all goes up and down. Now because of this force or anything, my body is not getting a proper space to have that oxygen…. For movement, that movement. I am unable to move my body. It has become a…. we can say that is has become. I just become a….. Actually that time feelings….. I want to move my body. Because I can move my legs or hands or anything, just to…. Many times I feel that whether…. That is when I feel that I am unable to take my oxygen whether I am alive or dead. So, I try to gain my strength and all energy to dispel that or throw that force away from my body I use my both hands with that full force whatever I have gained and (gesture) just push it out. D: Not angry no… P: No. It is a Science. It is a psychological problem at times….. Sometimes I feel. D: You can be more angry and it will be more solved. P: It is alright. D: Your tone is… Please full force, push it away. Now no need to describe something on the chest, you gather all the strength, then you want to throw it away or I followed. This action, full forced push it away, this is not clear for me. Describe this? P: Same thing. D: Why, I followed? Why you need to do that, I followed. If I can’t see and if I want to understand this, describe it. Suppose you are talking to me on telephone and this gesture and I am asking what is this? Describe it? Not force, only this gestures. Suppose I am taking your case on phone. You gather all strength, someone is overpowering you feel you are unable to move your body. So with full force, you want to. P: Dr. when I sleep mostly, both my hands I keep on chest I am lying flat and that time I had certain feelings that somebody is sitting on my chest. Naturally on my chest means my hands below him. He sits on my chest as well as my hands. So because of that, I am unable to move my hands. I am unable to move my body, the torso this portion. I am unable to move. Just to…. Or how to save myself or how to feel relieved, I just use my force full to throw that thing, which is sitting on my body to throw it away I use my full hands, gather all strengths on my hands and just throw it away. Throw it means hands are locked up here, so I use that force and it is just (HG) throwing that thing away from my body. D: What is this? Just tell me this, now. P: (Gesture) This now my body is like this. D: Not your body. If I say this, what comes to your mind? P: (Gesture) D: This much. Just this much. I am doing it now for me, there is….. Nobody sits on my chest. Just this much, what comes to your mind? P: That is related now. I have not thought of it. I mean this is a feeling I have got in sleep. D: What is this, you tell me this much? If I do this, may be I am banging might be. Don’t matter just this much. If you see one doing this, what comes to your mind? All the previous thing you forget. Why you do it followed. How is the feeling of this? Why so much energy? You gather so much energy and then this. What is this gesture I am trying to understand? The action, movement, speed, energy of this gesture. Because lot of energy is there. P: This gesture this is the only thing which I can move. This is the only part, which I can move. Otherwise any……. Particular any energy, I know just moving my hand it is not going to help me. A sleeping posture, this is the only thing I can move. Now sleep posture, legs we cannot throw it like this (Shows)[Reminds me end of birth process ] D: Why not? P: Because legs it is not going to help me. That feeling which I am having, it is on chest. D: You are using little logic. I don’t want logic. What is this? This much only. What is this? Energy of this? Now forget about chest, forget about breathing, forget about released, forget you have to overpower just this energy. You gather your strength and to repel something you do this. I am asking, what is this gesture? You are not saying. I can put logic. You are not overpowering anything. You are doing this gesture, isn’t it? So what is this? Followed where my doubt is. You can just remove him and you can be comfortable. You are not saying this. You gather all your strength to overpower and this is your action. Best will be you do it once more and whatever comes to your mind, share with me. Do that gesture once more and whatever comes to your mind. P: Now, somebody puts a pillow or anything on my face, so I wont get breathing…that time I will try to whatever (gesture) that is, I will try to similarly in this. I am feeling that I am not getting that….. I am unable to breathe. This is the best possibility to that I throw my hands away (HG). That whatever the heavy thing, material on my body. I just push (HG) it away from my body, with the help of the hands. D: How does that feel? P: I get relieved after that. D: How does that feel? P: This is a weight (HG) on Body, Heavy weight. Just to throw anything, to remove anything. I use my hands only. D: After that, how does that feel, once it is relieved? P: Then released (gesture) D: How does this feel? P: No problem after that I am released (gesture) D: How does released feels to you? P: Yes, I am released. D: How is the experience of released? P: Relieved. Just now I am relieved. D: How is the feeling; physically, mentally? P: I take a deep breath. This is relieved (HG) Okay. Now everything is fine.
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