| A 26 year-old housewife consulted
me on 20/6/97 at Mumbai.
She was dressed in simple clothes and was accompanied by her husband.
Her main complaint was itching especially in the armpits and all
over her body for 18 months , which had increased more in the last
6 months. Sometimes, she gets intolerable itching. She also complained
of sinusitis for the last 3-4 yrs. She used to get recurrent colds,
associated with severe headache and sneezing bouts. Pain was more
on the right supraorbital area. Whenever she had a cold, a headache
would be there. Headaches are worse with cold drinks and occasionally
she would have a mild feverish feeling any time during the day.
After narrating these complaints patient was very quiet and didnt
want to talk any more. Her husband told most of her history.
The patient had 3 pregnancies. The first was a baby boy in 1992,
born with megalomyelocele. Delivery was by L.S.C.S. at 7 months,
but the baby passed away. This had a very bad impact on the patient.
Second pregnancy was in 94 and on sonography it was found
to be a twin pregnancy, but with I.U.G.R. along with suspicion of
Downs syndrome and so the pregnancy was terminated. In 95
patient conceived for the third time but she wanted to abort it,
so M.T.P was opted for at second month of conception.
Her husband said that she was afraid something would happen again
to the baby and some problem might arise, so she did not want the
pregnancy. She is undergoing severe depression but most of her feelings
remain within her only. In certain situations she has no control
of herself and the situation. She thinks something and does something.
Her husband never contradicts her. She does whatever she wants to
do, after listening to her husbands suggestions.
She was negative about her childhood. She has a stepmother. Her
father married a second time as the step-mother couldnt conceive.
The patient is the eldest of 11 siblings & the youngest is 4
yrs. old now. Her stepmother is dominating and she didnt allow
patients mother to undergo a tubectomy. Her own mother had
to suffer because the step mother was dictating terms. All this
left an impression on patients mind.
Giving more details about her, her husband said She is ambitious,
wants to do something big. She wants to do some work in an agriculture
field, especially rural based programs, but I cannot afford to give
her that financial support. I have given her freedom, I dont
stop her. I dont want to suppress her emotions. Whatever she
has undergone in her childhood is still in her mind. She is very
observant and grasps things fast but she lacks education.
We got married against our wishes. There is an 11 year age
difference between us. It was an arranged marriage. There is a lot
of conflict and a total mismatch of identities. Our wavelengths
dont match. She wanted to marry somebody in agricultural business-farming.
She is not happy with me. She was 18 yrs. old at time of our marriage
& I was not the one she wanted to marry. I have never forced
my views on her. She does what she wants. We dont share a
mental relationship. When she doesnt like a particular thing,
she reacts harshly and sharply. She gets angry suddenly, nobody
can stop her. She can be very abrupt at times. She hadnt come
to terms about marriage, until 4 yrs. into our marriage. When we
lost our first child, she blamed me for it. At time of second pregnancy
on detection of I.G.U.R she didnt want to continue pregnancy,
as she felt if the child would be born abnormal then what? At the
third time she said that, she was physically and mentally unable
to sustain pregnancy, so abortion was done. Her cycles have been
irregular for the last 2 yrs. She doesnt want me to be intimate
with her. She says she does not want to conceive, she doesnt
want a child.
We dont share a healthy relationship as a husband
& wife. There is no mental involvement. For a long time she
didnt accept our marriage. After such a history we dont
want to take risks. It is O.K if we dont have children. She
is totally depressed. She doesnt want to speak with anyone.
I dont want her mental condition to go from bad to worse.
I cannot get her out of this depressive state and it is progressing
day by day.
At this point of time, I requested her husband to sit outside
and spoke to her alone. After explaining as to why we require such
a long history,the patient gave some more information but had to
be repeatedly questioned.
She said that the situation at home during her childhood was very
different. "We were 11 children. My mother had to tolerate
a lot from my fathers first wife. We couldnt express
any of our feelings, she would shout at us. I used to get very angry
but couldnt say anything. As I grew up, I was very keen to
study, to go to college so that I could work and earn money. She
said, "a girl neednt study". I really got angry
that she could say this to me. My mother would never have said no,
who was the woman to dictate terms to me? I used to feel bad each
time my mother conceived. I would get angry, "why so many children?
Already, arent there enough? How are you going to bring them
up"? Sometimes I use to feel , 'why I was born in this house.
I could not have a happy childhood like other children. Is it my
fault that, I was born in this house?'"
I felt if we were only 2-3 brothers and sisters, we would
have been happy and better off. We would have studied and wouldnt
have stayed in a village. We would be living in the city instead.
I use to get angry, why is all this is happening? When my father
used to shout, I would feel like answering back, but then I would
think he is an elder to me.
As I grew up suffering in my family situation, I wouldnt
even think of marriage. I never wanted to marry, but I had to marry,
against my wishes. I felt like committing suicide at that time.
I didnt want to get married to my husband. There is a 11 yrs.
gap between us. I used to get angry after marriage. I wouldnt
speak but all my anger would come out suddenly on something else.
I used to feel like throwing things in anger.
I really didnt want to give birth to children as I
felt how will I raise them? My childhood was a bad experience. If
I had my way I could have got my mother operated on (for tubal ligation).
I had a lot of anger for my elder mother (my father's first wife),
but couldnt express it. It was always a question in my mind,
"what is a child"? Why was my father was not speaking
up for my own mother. In anger I use to get irritated with myself
also. My mother says that, whenever I used to get angry I wouldnt
express it.
Even today there are times I dont feel like staying
at home. I dont want to visit my in-laws. I feel I should
only do what I feel like doing. All my feelings are suppressed.
Internally I feel a sort of suffocation. I feel like crying but
I cannot. My blood boils internally. I feel my anger may go out
of control. Now my anger comes out on my husband. His view point
differs from mine. He still might want a child, but I dont
want it at all.
Also she said that she likes to remain alone more and didnt
like people around her. I dont like to speak much. I
have not had a lot of friends since childhood.
Only sometimes I listen to music not always. She said,
I dont want to have children. I sometimes feel like
committing suicide. I had my first child which I never wanted, but
slowly my mind was accepting this and then the child expired. Now
even my periods are irregular. I get them sometimes after 2 or 3
months, nothing sure about them. I am scared of heights.
She likes spicy food +++ , sour things, and tea. She is ambithermal.
Thirst is not much. She sometimes has burning during micturition,
especaily if she drinks very little water and occasionally, itching
at the urethra.
Her dreams are sometimes frightful but she does not remember them.
She also dreams of death or that somebody is dead.
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