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| Hpathy Ezine - July, 2007 | ||||
Breaking Out-- Dr. Rajan Sankaran |
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P: I remember in childhood I used to frequently get this free fall kind of a dream, which would generally be beside a waterfall, and I would get up with a jerk. In between I got these very funny dreams, about all my relatives being cartoon figures and some kind of funny cartoons. This happened I think two-three times when I was a kid. There are some events due to which I remember the dream very clearly, otherwise I don’t, generally. About three or four years ago, I was physically very exerted in terms of work and running around, there was lot of pressure in other things also, at that time, for a period of about three or four days, or about a week or fifteen days, I get a dream that I am in the urinal or I would be going there. I want to relieve myself but I end up relieving myself in bed. There is pressure and relief. R: When you say relieve yourself what do you mean by these words? P: There was something I wanted to do, wanted to relieve. There was some pressure and I wanted to relieve myself. R: Any other dreams? P: As I told you, I don’t remember much. R: Any fears as a child? P: Basically a fear of failing or possibly not doing well in the exams, a lot of education pressure and a lot of performance pressure. R: What is performance pressure? P: I would perform much better than my classmates and colleagues in non-academic things such as quizzes, elocution or whatever else. But when it came to writing or putting those things down, marks by notes never happened. There was tremendous pressure by teachers, parents, and relatives. They wanted to know why this was happening. They always expected me to perform much better. So there was that fear of failure at that time. R: When you say tremendous pressure what was the experience of that pressure, how does that pressure feel like to you? P: When I am sitting down for the exams, and the paper is yet to come to me, the ear lobes would get a little hot, and I could feel that tingling kind of the thing, a closed kind of thing. R: Closed? P: Yeah, closed, hot, closed in the sense like this (closing the ears), ears would close a little. R: Describe that experience of this hot and closed. P: This part, Doctor, actually gets hot (touching the ears). R: What is the sensation of this getting hot and closed? P: It’s like a fever. R: What was the sensation you were feeling? P: Sensation in terms of… R: What was the experience like? How did you experience and what did you feel there, what was the sensation? P: I felt that the ears were getting hot, closed. It’s a little like how you feel the pressure in the aircraft, suddenly you are going up (closing ears gesture). R: Describe that pressure on you, what you are showing with your hands. Describe this pressure. P: It’s like now you have to put yourself down on the paper. R: Describe this pressure a little bit more. P: It’s like something that is trying to close on me, it’s like ears are (closing ears). R: What is the experience of something trying to close on you? What are you showing? P: Something that will hold me down (getting both the palms together). R: What is the opposite of hold me down? P: Relieve me off (separating both the palms in opposite directions). When you trace this down, it comes to the same gesture, the same sensation. This is what I find most fascinating. And in fact, that is the basic philosophy, which is very difficult to even imagine, in a way. Behind every stress, every single thing we experience at all levels, there is the same sensation; a very simple thing that is expressing itself in the same way. And in every aspect you can come back to the same thing. Behind our fears, ambitions, relationships, our physical complaints, our pathologies...deeper to every single thing is the same illogical sound of nature that’s playing therein. We’re not even aware of it. We are playing out a non-human sensation and we think we’re actually human beings! We are not! We are monkeys or volcanos. All the petty problems we have...reflect this same thing. We are possessed. We are just channeling that source through us. R: Any other fears as a child? P: No, not exactly. This was this fear, which is, created by what you call the horoscope. Somebody told my mom about something called Sarpdosh (a belief where you are cursed by a snake, for having killed his/her partner in your past life) on my eighteenth birthday, so I was protected during that time. Not that I bothered much, but suddenly you feel the pressure that everybody is around you, they have come down to stay with you, so feel that atmosphere of pressure that this could be true as these people around you are taking it seriously. R: How would you describe your nature or temperament? P: Very happy-go-lucky. I generally don’t tend to get cheesed off very easily with friends or family. R: What is cheesed off? P: Irritated. R: Describe this irritated? P: It’s like what are you are telling me, why are you telling me this, come on…it’s something that you don’t like, and you don’t want to be part of it. R: What is the feeling in that irritation? How does it feel? P: It’s not anger, it’s like you don’t want to be part of it, push it off. You just want to get off from there, want to push it off. R: When you say push it off what comes to your mind? P: Pushing I mean I don’t want to be part of it (as if pushing something away) R: When you do this action what comes to your mind? Describe this action little bit more. P: I am just throwing it out. R: How is your temper generally, anger and all? P: See it’s very relative, again with my parents and with my wife it’s short very temperamental but with other people its not. R: When you say temperamental and short what do you mean? P: I get irritated at smallest of things possibly not think while reacting there. R: What is the expression of this? P: Impulsive. R: Describe this impulsive. P: I would not think before doing anything. R: What would you do? P: It’s like a let down kind of a thing. I shout, possibly act a little, jump around, act a little tense or throw things around; throwing is something that I’ve managed to control these days. R: Little bit about this anger and its expression. P: Something that I cannot control, it’s like my hands would generally get a little stiff, tend to hit. R: Describe this cannot control little bit more. P: It’s like the body gets tensed, it’s like why is this happening, why is this person not reasoning out, why this person not listening? So get a little tense, you want hit out, you want to bite or something like that. R: What is the experience at that time? P: It’s bad. R: What do you experience within you at that time, when you are angry? P: Feeling of hopelessness, what is this I mean I am trying to put in so much effort to try and get you to understand something. I am putting so much effort and you are not doing anything. Where is the logic and where is the reasoning why aren’t you able to? R: What is the sensation you experience inside you in anger? How does it feel in your body? P: I feel hopeless. R: Hopeless is in the mind, how does it feel in the body? P: I feel heavy here (left side of the chest). Yeah, it feels heavy. R: Describe this heavy feeling. P: I am getting it now, I am trying to think what it is. R: Use more words to describe that. P: You feel weighed down, you want to just get out, don’t want to keep it, and you are just tied down and just push it out. I generally cool off also very faster. R: So at present the sinus problem is there, having it right now. P: Even now see this (sniffs). It’s been there for a week and half now. In the mornings, I kind of spit. R: It’s there since about 10 days now? P: Yeah it’s about 10 days now. R: Before that it was not there? P: Before that it was very little. R: Means, it comes and goes? P: It comes and goes but it’s been there for quite some time, I have not known a single day where I do this (sniffs) or where I don’t clear the throat in the morning and spit out. R: Something is there constantly? P: Yeah. R: Something is there constantly, comes and goes remains there for two or three weeks? P: Yeah, for two weeks, not three weeks. It sometimes goes in four or five days. R: You have taken any medication this time? P: This time I took Cetrizine (an anti allergic tablet) and I took Mahasudarshan kada (Ayurvedic medicine). I generally don’t like to take any kind of medication, I don’t like the idea of taking medicines. R: Besides this sinus, what other problems you have? P: Frequent acidity. R: Acidity? P: I don’t take breakfast in the morning. Worms are very frequent. R: And that skin thing right? P: Yeah, skin. Worms are very frequent, I take a pill every two months. R: And this sinus thing started some time ago? P: A long time ago. R: How long? P: It started when I was in the 11th or 12th standard. After that, they told me that septal deviation was there. R: This was about 10-15 years ago? P: Yeah. R: And since then you have been getting it? P: It got worse at times and since I came to Bombay it got really worse. R: How does it bother you, how does it affect you? P: My mind doesn’t work. I feel groggy, I cannot get up in the morning, this whole area is like you know (forehead) you feel sick. R: Say in a month how many days do you suffer from this? P: It depends. In the last two or three months, it was very frequent. About twice in two months, something like that. R: These dreams you are getting are not now, this free fall and all? P: No free fall I have not got recently, but I do jerk up from the sleep which happens only once in the night very infrequently. A sudden jerk like this (jerk gesture) and that’s it. Sometimes of dad dying or something like that. R: Your moods are quite fluctuating, means you get tensed, angry, all these things? P: No. R: Or you are calm? P: Quite calm. It’s like, you know, like I told you, somebody doesn’t listen, generally my wife and parents don’t listen, then it’s like moody. R: You stop the other medications now completely. P: Okay. R: We will start the treatment. P: Okay. R: I think you will do very well over time. P: Okay. R: In-between, there might be acute sinus or whatever, any boils on the skin, fever, diarrhea. Any thing could happen, or an injury. Whatever happens, call me up and take only homeopathy. Even if you get high fever, we will see to it. P: Okay. R: Then the treatment may be much more effective. P: Okay. R: Continue the treatment for about six months. Now I am giving you medicine for two weeks and we’ll see how do you. Then, maybe once a month. After six months we will meet and see what has happened after beginning of treatment till that time. P: Okay. R: I think we should see significant changes. I don’t think it will disappear in six months, but you will yourself say that things are much better. P: Any particular things that I have to note down? R: Dreams are very important. P: Okay. R: The state of mind and moods are important. P: Okay. R: Any symptoms that you may have. P: Okay, fine, so I have to be conscious about this. R: Yes. P: Now how do I go about writing my dreams? R: Keep a paper and pen with you and when you get a dream, when you get up, write it down at that very moment. P: Okay. R: Otherwise you will forget. P: Okay. R: You are likely to get dreams after remedy. P: Okay. R: They will tell me something. P: Okay. R: Otherwise, your case is quite simple, not complicated, and I think it is entirely treatable and curable. P: Okay. R: Not a big problem. P: Doctor, if you have five minutes more, I mean, how does it work? R: What? P: This whole system? R: You want to ask more specifically? I can answer you. P: You asked me so many questions, which I never expected you to ask, you asked me about the meanings that come to me of a particular word and how are you going relate this to my treatment? R: The main difference between modern medicine and homeopathy is that modern medicine sees the problem only. Like your sinus is a problem, or your throat is a problem, or head is a problem, or chest is a problem and they treat that part only. This treatment does not work in a long term, it’s not solving the problem, it’s only keeping it temporarily under check. But disease is not something that affects the local parts, it is something that is holistic, that your sinus or your throat or your migraine or whatever you have are only local expressions of a deeper disturbance of a whole organism. Whatever is expressed locally can be seen generally as well. P: Generally? R: For example, generally on you as a whole being, on every single part and on every single thing it can be seen. For example, suppose you read the news that a particular policeman has been caught for taking bribe. Now it looks like that policeman is the problem. But actually, if you go deeper into the specific thing that happened with the policeman, not who did what to whom, but go behind it, you will see that that issue is not limited to that policeman. The issue is an expression of something that is pervading the entire nation. P: Yeah. R: Every where you will see it, in the entire nation you will see it. Go to the center, you will see it and go to the periphery, you will see it. In the same way, your sinus or whatever is happening is an expression. If you go into the experience of that, the actual issue is not the experience of only sinus but of you as a whole person. That was the attempt to find out what is it. It comes out through the involuntary words that you use, gestures that you use. And then you see a commonality that is pervading you, the whole person. P: Okay. R: For example, you say in the sinus there is some pressure that needs an outlet, needs to come out. If you see deeper, this expression this is there in every aspect of your life. P: Okay. R: Pressure, and I have to come out. P: Okay. R: Everywhere, whether you talk of your dreams, the pressure in bladder that has to be released. I go in a train, there’s pressure from all sides and I have to come out. In my childhood, there was pressure from all sides and I was expected to perform, pressure in my head and everywhere. Sarpdosh happened, all the relatives came and put pressure from all sides. So this experience of pressure is not limited to your sinus. It is an expression of you as a whole person, every single part of you will express it. What you experience uniquely in these situations is the same in everything. So we come to that common substrate behind all this, and if you focus, the remedy that has that issue as the main thing, that remedy will treat the disturbance of the whole organism. By bringing down the intensity of that disturbance of the person, the local problem will automatically get solved. P: Okay. R: If you tackle that then… P: Okay, so we are going to try and tackle pressure now. R: That also. It’s one of the expressions. P: Okay. R: There are many aspects. Pressure is the name given, as words cannot adequately express the experience. P: Yeah, correct. R: Pressure is one aspect of your experience. P: Okay, I get it. R: Second is the build up, then the heat and the fire. There are so many… P: Yeah correct. R: It’s a complete experience. P: Correct. I get that. R: That experience is your central experience. P: I was just trying to understand how you reason out what is happening and that kind of thing. R: If we find a remedy that touches that thing, your problem, we have come to a good remedy. The most important thing in our case taking is to understand this thing. And it helps that you are very co-operative. The most important aspect of co-operation is that you should simply forget your intelligence and logic for the moment, and just relate how you are experiencing it. What you experience is the truth, and not what you think. P: Fine. R: You are able to convey and I am able to find a good remedy, we have both done our job. P: Okay, fine Doctor, thanks a lot, Doctor, thank you. AlertsPressure Come out, break out, Push out, burst out Jerky Heat, burning Destroy, dangerous Build up Out of control Crescendo Suddenly Volcano Relief A Summary of the Interview Tell me what is your problem. Sinus – pressure – something is trying to come out – break out – stuffed – push out – throw out – jerky – impulsive – flinging – impulsive – push through – pressure from all sides – burst out. Describe this pressure from all sides and burst out. Heat – burning – destroy – heat going beyond – going up – fast and quick – uncontrollable – dangerous – break out, come out – build up – gone beyond – open out. Tell me what is build up and gone beyond. Build up – pressure – out of control – break out – building up – crescendo – gauge – suddenly bursts – overheated – throw out – burst – come out – fire, dust, wind – hot – burnt – building – burst out – volcano. Tell about it. Hot – get out – burst out – heated – pressure – weak spot – push out – come out. What dreams do you get? Pressure – relieve myself. Any fears as a child? Performance – tremendous pressure – hot – closed – close on me – hold me down – relieve me. Pressure – everybody around you. How would you describe your nature or temperament? Irritated – push it off – throw it out – impulsive – let down – throw things – cannot control – hit – heavy – weighed down – get out – tied down – push it out – cool off.
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