First presented at the Society of Homeopaths Annual Conference
at the University of Nottingham in September 1990. Published Volume
11, No 2, 1991. Miranda Castro wrote, at the time the transcript
was published: The purpose of my article is to stimulate thought.
I have not written a definitive article, complete in itself, and
I hope that you will feel at the end supported or challenged,
relieved or puzzled, pleased or even angry. I hope to give you
an opportunity to affirm your own beliefs but above all, I hope
to stimulate discussion, and not a few questions
Patients' Expectations: A Parent, A Teacher Figure
I want to look at the issue of power and ethics in the consulting
room. I want to start by looking briefly at the dynamics of this
patient/practitioner relationship, because a patient who comes
for help has invested in their time and their money and their
hope - to be healed. We represent a very important person for
them, we represent a parent figure, a teacher figure. Each person
brings to us a different expectation of how we should
behave from their past experiences - either positive or negative.
This is mostly an unconscious process. We sit or stand on varying
heights of pedestal; we have varying degrees of whiteness of coat,
whether we are wearing one or not; we grow varying sizes of horns
for people who have had a bad experience previously either with
their parents or with previous medical practitioners.
I am sure that you can all identify with that feeling of unease,
of anxiety or fear or even terror as you walk through the dentist's
door. You may have been feeling relatively strong and in charge
of your life and then you walk through that door and lie down
on the dentist's couch and - suddenly feel smaller. I know that
I feel about five years old. I lose my power in that position
- I feel like a child, I am frightened and intimidated. Interestingly,
when I met my dentist at a party recently (he is a friend of a
friend) I felt quite different about him. He was the same person
- in a different role.
When you are lying there on that couch you are helpless. And
you are childlike because of the helplessness. The dentist has
all the power and the knowledge, the technical knowledge.
A friend of mine was in this position once when her dentist put
his hand on her thigh and moved it up her leg and he did not say
anything. She was young. The shock waves from this particular
inappropriate action of his left a wound that took many, many
years to heal.
Although we know we are in a consulting room, our patients do
not. Their relationship to us and their feelings are quite different
because of our role as homeopath, as healer and because of the
invisible hat that we are wearing. This makes them feel very vulnerable,
which in itself gives us an enormous amount of power.
The Child Within Us
When we look to another for help the child within us comes to
the surface and he or she is looking to be taken care of, is looking
for a parent figure. This will bring up different issues for different
people. You may wish to take just a moment to reflect for yourselves
on what it is you feel as a patient in this position. Do you feel
anxious, fearful, a bit resentful that you are having to go and
ask for help, suspicious, accepting, relieved when you visit your
dentist, your homoeopath, your doctor? We all take different feelings
into these caring relationships. Think now for a moment whether
the feelings you have in the consulting room are similar to feelings
you experienced as a child in your family or with your doctor.
As far as I am concerned, we have a position of authority whether
we like it or not. It is there and it is our responsibility to
uphold and respect this position. Our patients will do almost
anything to please us so we can cure them.
A Close Shave
I have heard a lot of stories of ex-patients becoming intimately
involved with their practitioners, becoming lovers, and this is
an area of special concern to me. I had a close shave once. It
was my last patient on a Friday evening. I was working from home
and it was a weekend when my son was with his father, so I was
alone and I had not planned a lot for myself for the weekend.
It was winter; dark, cold, wet and drizzly, as I recall. The sort
of evening where you feel like lighting a fire.
My last patient was a man, a professional man the same age as
myself. He had a chronic complaint that the medical profession
had given up on… could offer no treatment for. He was desperate
and desperately ill. He had not worked for six months. I took
his case and we got to the emotions - the inner man, and he mentioned
a trauma from his young adulthood that he had not healed, that
was still raw for him, still unresolved. It was a betrayal of
friendship, his best friend. He mentioned a town and a university
and a first name. I put two and two together and asked him the
surname of his friend. Amazingly his friend was the same person
that I had an intimate relationship with who had betrayed my friendship
in a similar way, at the time still unresolved. It was very hard
for me to carry on with my job because of the feelings that surfaced
within me. I fought them back however, and carried on with taking
his case. But my perception of my patient had changed - my inner
perception. He had moved closer to me. I actually had a fleeting
question about him being available, about whether he was in a
relationship. When he mentioned his lover, I noticed that I had
an inexplicable moment's disappointment. I decided not to prescribe
but to work on his case in a less charged moment, and said I would
ring him the next day.
I took my dog out for a walk at the end of my day. I found I
was having quite curious thoughts and fantasies about this patient.
I could feel a rising tide of attraction to this patient who had
suddenly become handsome, soft, vulnerable - and very interesting.
I watched my thoughts and feelings with amazement and horror.
I rang a friend of mine who is also with the same supervisor,
and I decided not to sleep on it. I rang my patient that evening
and explained that talking about our mutual ex - friend had brought
up unresolved feelings for me and I was unable to separate the
two men - to separate him from this ex - lover of mine; that I
felt attracted to him, had strong principles, wouldn't be acting
on my feelings, but wanted to say that I thought it would be best
if I found a suitable replacement, so that he could get the homoeopathic
help he needed and deserved; that I did not feel I could do a
good enough, objective job as a homoeopath.
His reply was totally unexpected. He listened courteously to
what I had to say and then replied by saying he had consulted
homoeopaths before and I was the first one he had complete confidence
in. He felt very good about the session he had had with me and
he was sure that I could help him. He paused and asked me if there
was somewhere I could take my feelings, someone who could help
me with my feelings so that I could carry on treating him (!).
Well, he had a good point. I did take my feelings elsewhere and
I dealt with them because they did belong elsewhere i.e. not with
him and I healed a hurt that was long overdue. And you know what,
he was right. I was able to help him and he got better and as
he became healthy, he became less attractive to me.
Ethics: Unintentional Abuse And Homoeopathy
Because of the time constraint, I am not going to be able to
go in depth into this topic but I want to bring up some of the
issues, some of the ethics of how we handle sex in the consulting
room. I hope that my talk will provoke you into thinking about
this area of our work so that you do not fall into the trap of
unwittingly abusing your patients, because it is all too easy.
I want to look today at how we, as homoeopaths, can abuse our
patients - without intending to, and ways we can avoid this. Some
things we do because that is how we have been taught; or because
that was how we learnt by example, by someone else's example;
or because that is what was done to us and we did not question
it - because we did not have the information and because nobody
said "Hold on a moment. Is this right?"
The area of sexuality, of sexual abuse, is a fast evolving one
for all of us. It seems that within every walk of life the issue
of sexual abuse is being thoroughly examined - in the family,
within the medical profession, the teaching profession, the church
and so on.
These are indeed, extraordinary and exciting times. I personally,
am thrilled to be here, to be alive now, at a time when so much
is coming out into the open and being discussed within a framework
of mutual support. There has always been the pain and suffering
of sexual abuse, it just has not been talked about. It has been
locked away in peoples' bodies where it has formed an abscess
which has not been visible. Now we are seeing it - it has come
to the surface and it is nasty. We did not know it was there and
now we do. A lot of people are not wanting to see it still. But
I think it is foolish not to care for it, now that it is suppurating.
It is more than foolish; it is wicked to ignore it, to deny its
presence. This will create more ill health and more suffering.
I believe we need to care for this abscess, clean it up and tend
to it, with the compassion of a fine healer. It needs to be aired
to heal. If we neglect it, if we put a plaster over it so we do
not have to look at it, it can ulcerate and become septic.
I am going to tell some tales today, tales of sexual abuse in
the consulting room, which I have 'doctored' in order to protect
the identity of the people concerned - both the patient and the
homoeopath.
Some of these stories will resonate with you, will be familiar
in terms of your own personal experience, or in terms of stories
you have heard about other health care practitioners. I have found
that every single person I talked to can tell a tale of professional
sexual abuse; from either a dentist, a doctor, an alternative
health care practitioner, a social worker, a psychotherapist or
a psychoanalyst. This is too many stories.
But is it true? Do we really abuse our patients? Surely not.
I am afraid it is true. We are vulnerable too, only being human
that is. The point is that any professional involved in a one
to one relationship with a patient, which is by definition an
intimate relationship from the patient's perspective, is capable
of abuse.
I want to just list the different ways that we as homoeopaths
can abuse our patients:
This list may not be complete. I hope it is.
I went to a homoeopath many years ago with a painful knee that
the osteopath had not been able to help. He asked me to undress,
in spite of the fact that I did not need to; and he examined my
breasts as well as my knees. A friend of mine went to a hospital
recently with a skin rash on her leg. She was asked to undress
and the doctor examined her breasts as well as her skin rash.
Neither of our medics asked us - they told us. Neither of them
told us why they were doing it. We both felt it was wrong, unnecessary
and we felt bad afterward; tense and anxious - especially about
going back, and we did not go back.
I remember another visit to another homoeopath. He asked me about
my sex life and I answered honestly and openly because I wanted
to be helped and then he really started delving and asked more
and more personal questions. At the time I can remember feeling
uncomfortable but completely unable to say no. I wanted him to
find the right remedy. I was scared not to answer in case this
jeopardized my cure. I felt exposed and ashamed afterwards. I
did not know why I had been asked such personal questions. I was
scared he was making a pass at me or that he would pass this information
on (and in his case that was not an unreasonable assumption I
am afraid) and I never went back.
Talking About Sex
Our sexuality is a most private and vulnerable part of who we
are. It deserves a special attitude. We do not in general socialize
our sexuality; we do not discuss it over the kitchen sink - not
really discuss it. People in this country grow up not having talked
about sex, never having heard their parents talk about sex, or
hearing it talked about within the framework of smutty jokes,
or hearing the cold, biological facts of mating from a biology
teacher.
Some people have never talked about sex. Their parents never
talked about sex. Or barely. They may never have discussed 'it'
with a lover, husband or wife. We have a fine tradition in the
country of intimacy which is swept between the sheets at night,
with the lights out and the eyes shut tight. You just do it and
don't say anything. You do not ask for anything and you do not
complain. This is not the only sex we have in this country but
it makes up a significant proportion.
I want you to imagine a patient who has never talked, and let
us put her or him in a consulting room with one of us, and let
us imagine how our questioning will be received.
I have a friend who visited a homoeopath some time ago. She went
with a urinary tract complaint which she had treated successfully
herself with rest and herbs. However, she was left with a feeling
of unwellness and a feeling of weakness in the area of her bladder.
It had not quite gone. She had more frequent urination but she
was not particularly ill either. The homoeopath she consulted
asked her about herself, her urinary difficulties, and then he
moved onto her bowels. This, she said, was all fine: what she
expected. He then spent quite a long time looking things up in
his books. "What was he looking at?" she asked me afterwards.
And after a while, he looked up and said, "Do you masturbate?"
She answered him. He then asked her in detail how she masturbated,
how often, whether she had fantasies, what fantasies. He did not
say anything in response. He prescribed and then he told her to
ring him if she wasn't better in a week or so.
She rang me in distress two weeks later - she was very confused
and had a lot of questions about her experience. Her first one
was, "Is this right Miranda? Why did he ask me those questions?"
Then she went on to describe the effect of what had happened.
She said that at the time she could remember feeling shocked,
but had assumed that he knew what he was doing, because he was
in charge. She was keen to be well and so knew that she had to
be honest and open, so he got the information he asked for, that
he needed to cure her. Right? And so she answered, but she did
not feel quite right and afterwards she felt very shaky. Exposed
and vulnerable. At the time she rang me she was feeling ill again
and on top of her previous complaints she had not slept well for
those two weeks. She kept saying "Why did he do it? Is that
what homoeopaths do? Was he getting off on me?"
People are very sensitive in this area. People who have been
shocked by the intrusiveness of a homoeopathic case-taking say:
"Why did he need this information?"
Homeopathic Case Taking
I think that the homeopathic case-taking is the most thorough
of any case-taking - apart, maybe from the acupuncturists. We
can all acknowledge that the case-taking alone can be a profound
healing experience in itself, because as you all know, we ask
questions that delve into every area of a person's life and so
at the end of that initial interview, a person may have a sense
of themselves as a whole person, with all the facets connected
up - albeit loosely - maybe for the first time ever. This is profoundly
healing in itself. We must never underestimate the value of our
first consultations.
Patients put their trust in us - we need to respect this trust
- it is very delicate and special and deserves tender, loving
care. Our patients are entitled to expect their health care practitioners
to behave with integrity.
Acknowledging Sexual Abuse
There are no degrees of sexual abuse. All abuse has an effect.
There are degrees of effect. It is the breaking of that trust
that affects a person's self-esteem and their ability to trust,
and it creates another wound that needs healing.
It is scary looking at sexual abuse, dealing with it, acknowledging
it. Some very unpleasant facts are coming out of the closet, or
rather being dragged out, because the disbelief and denial is
so great that it is proving a block to acceptance, understanding
and therefore a block to action, to healing.
I have a friend who participated in a sexuality workshop and
at some point memories began to surface of an early sexual abuse
by her father. She felt distressed and stirred up and went to
her homoeopath for help because the distress had affected her
physically. Her homoeopath pooh-poohed her memories and suggested
that it was her imagination, that as she had no evidence she was
on rather shaky ground and didn't she know that all daughters
have unresolved sexual feelings towards their fathers? My friend
described the conflict that then ensued within herself; because
the major part of who she was wanted to believe that she made
it up.
The first response to abuse is denial. It goes so deep that not
wanting to believe that someone we have trusted and loved can
betray our trust can hurt us so thoroughly. Denial is the self-preservation
mechanism that suppresses the pain and the hurt and is often accompanied
or followed by amnesia because this makes life half-way bearable.
Anyway, back to my friend and her sticky consulting room situation.
She knew something was wrong and then fortunately her homeopath
told her a tale about her own childhood; how at some point in
her growing up her father had warned her not to get too close
to him, because she had become attractive to him and he did not
know what he might do, that he might lose his self-control. My
friend, who was training to be a psychotherapist, spotted that
her homoeopath had an unresolved sexual abuse from her own childhood,
the denial of which had kept her from validating her patient's
experience of sexual abuse.
This story is interesting because it illustrates what happens
if the patient spots the game; in this case my friend said that
she put her own feelings in a safer place to deal with elsewhere.
This is an abuse of a different type; this swapping of roles,
where the patient looks after us, and it was not intentional,
but as professionals we do have a responsibility to deal with
these situations if they arise.
If you doubt your patient's experience you add insult to injury.
It is imperative that you validate your patient's experience however
whacky. They may be suffering from a delusion. You have to be
seen to be believing them, otherwise they will dam up and lump
us with the rest of their world that did not believe them or abused
them. It is by believing them that we can get their case, that
we can start the process of healing.
Embarrassing Words
OK folks! It's confession time now. In my first year in practice
I did not ask about my patients' sexuality and I did not have
any highfalutin' ideals and principles about not asking them.
Oh no! I was just plain embarrassed. There were many words I could
not say without going red. Without having a hot flush. Words like
MASTURBATION, ORGASM, SCROTUM, LABIA, CONDOM. Some words I could
say if I said them very fast like PENIS or VAGINA. These words
had not been used in my family. They were wicked, wicked words,
and I was once punished for bringing one of them home from school.
I learnt that talking about sex was wicked. It was years before
I understood what all the words meant. Oh, sure I learnt to do
it, but I had learned not to talk like many others. So I kept
my mouth and my eyes shut too!
As a baby homoeopath, if my patients talked and in talking offered,
of their own accord, details about their sexuality I wrote furiously
and made listening noises and hoped and prayed I would not blush
and then I moved on once they had finished, and breathed a sigh
of relief.
So I took myself rather urgently in hand and completed the Spectrum
Sexuality Programme. Spectrum is a psychotherapy centre in London.
I sorted myself out and got myself educated and learnt to talk,
learnt what is normal and what is a true perversion, what is healthy
and what is diseased; with regard to sex, with regard to myself
and sex, and with regard to others and sex. I discovered there
is a lot of rubbish talked about sex, that does not take the individual
into account.
Sex In The Consulting Room
And you know what, now I can talk about sex and now that I like
to talk about sex, I still very rarely ask my patients questions
about their sexuality. Firstly because I have found that I can
prescribe effectively without having that information, but more
importantly because I know when to ask those questions; when it
is appropriate, and that is a learnt skill. Generally speaking,
however, I am an effective prescriber without bringing sex into
the consulting room.
Sometimes patients initiate talking to me about sex and then
I am happy to listen and ask questions and I will respond appropriately,
with reassuring statements, and an appreciation of the trust that
has been confided in me. I may be able to build their sexual difficulty
into my prescription, in which case I say so. It may be that my
patient needs a referral to a counsellor or a therapist who specialises
in sexuality. Sometimes I am able to affirm a patient's 'normality'.
Many people do not know what is normal, are too frightened to
find out, and carry myths from their childhood like sacks of cement.
Sometimes I do ask about a patient's sexuality and then I put
my questions in a context. I believe it is deeply intrusive to
ask questions about a person's sexuality without firstly putting
them into a context. A professional context.
The first person I question is myself. Why am I wanting to delve
into this area? Is it important or relevant to my prescribing
to find out about my patient's sexuality? If it is, I share my
thoughts with my patient. I make clear statements about why it
is relevant. To educate him or her about the way I work. I create
a safe boundary. I may reaffirm that the consultation is confidential,
that nothing that is said will go beyond these four walls.
I ask questions like, "Is it OK with you if I ask you some
questions about your sexuality?" (or sex life). If I know
a person is in a relationship I may ask, "Is there anything
that is bothering you in your relationship? Are you happy with
your sexual relationship?" You may already have some information
about a patient's intimate relationships that you can build on
carefully. Once you have opened the door, people will volunteer
information and you can take it from there. We do need to start
out with a non-threatening question that leaves it up to our patients
to pick up the threads.
So, with regard to your own practices, I suggest that you check
out your patients' willingness to talk with you about their sexuality.
If there is the slightest hesitation, do not do it at that point.
You can ask them again, as and when trust develops. Or offer them
the choice of coming back to it in their own time.
What we are wanting to do is find out if sex is working for a
person at this point in their life. Is there disease, pathology
that relates to this area that we can prescribe on? Is this person
limited by their own sexual dysfunction? If so, how?
Use the tone of your voice, your posture, your expression, your
words, to convey that you are OK, that you are trustworthy. Do
not take notes or just jot down key words and fill them in later,
it is very threatening if we are seen to be writing down every
word about, for example, a painful childhood incident of sexual
abuse.
Sexual Health
People are rather concerned with achieving various goals, with
getting it up and getting it off. How we express our sexuality
has a lot more to it than just the sexual act itself that culminates
in being able to achieve an orgasm. Intimacy, love, tenderness,
friendship, affection, compassion and bonding make up a 'holistic'
intimate relationship, and we may choose to have that intimate
relationship not with a person of the opposite sex.
My definition, for what it is worth, of a healthy sexual relationship
is that it be between one or more consenting adults where both
people explore or negotiate this intimate relationship within
an atmosphere of trust and safety, where both the 'no' and the
'yes' are responded to. Where the power balance is more or less
equal.
Labelling Abuse
I sometimes see or hear of abuse being acted out in a relationship,
and because of the way I work, I am committed to taking a position
if that happens, if I spot abuse and my patient has not. I am
thinking right now of a woman I saw recently who had been married
for fifteen years, who has four or five children. Her husband
demanded sex of her every night, sometimes more than once a night.
Sometimes she wanted to make love and sometimes she did not, but
it did not matter to him whether she did or did not and an awful
lot of nights she lay there gritting her teeth whilst her husband
'did it to her' and he had never noticed.
There are several issues here - there is the issue of her ability
to say 'no' and be heard. We can only do that if we know that
what is happening is wrong. When I labelled his behaviour as abusive
she cried with gratitude because she had had that feeling, but
in talking to her GP, for example, she had not had that support.
I will not collude with perpetrators of abuse either. If a patient
comes to me and says, "I have just beaten up my wife and
now we are together again," I will ask if he has agreed to
a "non-violence contract" and if he has not, I will
not treat him. That is partly because my own safety is important
to me, and I am not going to put that at risk.
My guess is that some of you are thinking, "If only we can
get the right remedy, then we do not have to say any of these
things or do any of these things." For example, the woman
with the over-sexed husband - if we just give her Staphysagria,
or Sepia, or whatever, won't it just sort itself out? There are
many levels of healing, not just with little white pills. Patients
are expecting more of their practitioners - are expecting a higher
level of integrity, more inter-personal skills.
I think we need a level of understanding and sophistication (as
practitioners) to be able to deal with these situations. And that
is why I believe that a training in interpersonal skills as well
as on-going supervision or patient management, some form of looking
into ourselves, is so vital.
My experience, which is also born out in my eight years of practice
is that people repeat their patterns, their mistakes. We can help
our patients understand consciously how they became ill, understand
the part they had to play in letting stress get the better of
them, begin to be aware of the different choices they might make,
and prescribe a good remedy. In my own practice, I hope that the
next time a similar situation surfaces for a particular patient,
that he or she may be able to deal with it differently, as it
happens, and not fall ill with the stress of it – and therefore
not need me.
Sex In The Forbidden Zone
There are many books out now on sexual abuse. I want to introduce
you to one that I recommend on professional sexual abuse. It is
called Sex In The Forbidden Zone by Peter Rutter.
Professionals in most of the health care professions are thrashing
out this issue of sexual abuse, what constitutes sexual abuse
and what does not. When is it OK to commence an intimate relationship
with an ex-patient? Is it for example, an issue of time? Or what?
Peter Rutter takes the position that people in a position of
power (be they teachers, clergy, lawyers or doctors) enter into
a relationship with a person who comes to them for help (their
students, parishioners, clients and patients) with a particular
contract, often unspoken. A contract of trust. These relationships
have a particular psychological dynamic that, he believes, is
difficult to change.
This book deals with this issue in great depth and with great
sensitivity. If you are interested in clarifying sexual abuse
as a professional, read it! I cannot recommend this book too highly.
Sexual Abuse and The Society Of Homeopaths
What position does the professional body that represents us,
The Society of Homeopaths, take with regard to this issue? How
many of you have read our Code of Ethics carefully and thoroughly?
You may be interested to check out the Code of Ethics of the British
Association for Counselling. It is interesting to look at the
other 'sister' organizations to look at how they deal with these
issues in their professional communities.
I believe that we have to update our attitudes and beliefs towards
sex. A lot of them date from the 19th century in all its glory.
We need to be aware of differences between the more old-fashioned
attitudes towards sexuality and the growing body of evidence and
opinion that is exploring a more holistic, healthier belief system,which
supports the healthy expression of a person's sexuality - even
if it does differ from a conservative 'norm'.
Traditionally homeopathy has taken a rigid stand against certain
sexual practices regarding for example, homosexuality and masturbation
as perversions. In the light of an expanding awareness in the
areas of psychology and sexuality, there is a growing acceptance
that people can express themselves in different ways sexually
and still be OK. Be healthy and normal.
Conclusion
I have asked many questions today. I do not pretend to have
all the answers with regard to this issue. I am hoping to stimulate
you to thinking about your own attitudes and beliefs, both your
personal and your professional attitudes and beliefs. There are
no simple answers. It is a complex topic. We are all working to
a common goal of health and healing - this is a part of our healing,
as a profession. We have a responsibility to be sensitive and
aware. Habitual secrecy and denial have made this a taboo subject.
It is like the Emperor's New Clothes - people are afraid to talk
about something that is obvious to them but is being studiously
ignored by everyone around them.
This is a newish topic. It may be new for you, may have sparked
off memories of events that happened to you, or others in your
life. Many people have been abused and not known or recognized
that that is what they were doing simply because their abuse was
learnt behaviour. How many of you here today feel that you have
an issue to work on around your own sexuality? How do you think
that your own difficulty may affect your attitude to your patients
or your attitude to a patient with a similar difficulty?
I am not wishing to lay blame; to say you did this or this wrong,
that you should have done it this way. All I am asking of you
is this; that you think this through for yourselves, each and
everyone of you; that you talk with your friends, peers, colleagues
and even your family if you can, that you evolve with this issue
of sex in the consulting room, that you share your thoughts and
feelings with each other with me, with this journal and with the
newsletter.
I value this being a continuing debate. Let us face this issue
and deal with it in order to heal it, for ourselves and our patients.
We need to be open to dealing with our mistakes. After all we
are all trying to get better, because it is by talking, by being
honest and open, that we can work through it and forgive and heal
the old wounds, and create a healthy model of which we can all
be proud - for ourselves and our patients.
POST SCRIPT - Summer 2006
Gosh. Sex. That presentation caused quite a stir. A presentation
I gave on Confidentiality a number of years ago is the only other
topic that has resulted in people shouting at me in public places.
After Sex in the Consulting Room I received a letter –
from a psychotherapist who was a homeopathy student – asking
why I hadn't stated explicitly that engaging in a sexual relationship
with a student or patient was unethical. It has always astonished
me that more people didn't ask me this question. Mostly I was
scared. Our Code of Ethics at the time was a bit vague. Our community
had simply not addressed this ethical issue directly. I felt it
to be an extremely sensitive area. Our history seems to have given
us tacit permission to engage in intimate relationships with our
students and patients. Starting with Hahnemann. And Melanie of
course. A love story. Because we hadn't addressed this issue and
because there was so many sexual misbehaviours going on I wanted
simply to raise the wide variety of issues that fell under the
umbrella of 'sex' at that time. I didn't want people to get stuck
on thinking I was telling them with whom they should or shouldn't
have sex.
Innumerable practitioners and students told me afterwards how
uncomfortable they had always felt asking about patient's "sex
lives", how relieved they were to have an opportunity to
think about it and change how they addressed this topic –
and to share their solutions. I now ask people "How is your
sexual energy" and I may follow it up with "Do you have
any problems or difficulties in that area you would like to address?"
or "Is that part of your relationship/marriage working well?"
In any case I'm more interested in their history in intimate relationships
– sex may or may not be a part of that history.
I am thrilled that the Board of Directors of the Society of Homeopaths
picked up this baton and created ethical codes that are in line
with other professional organizations, codes that provide us with
appropriate guidelines and protect both patients and students
from harm. Of course these guidelines protect us as well –
giving us clear boundaries to adhere to. My goal was to open up
the topic for dialogue and that has happened in spades! Issues
around sex and sexuality are taught more sensitively in schools
and we are more open and respectful in general in how we deal
with this subject with each other and our patients.
If humanity does not opt for integrity we are through completely.
It is absolutely touch and go. Each one of us could make a difference.
—Buckminster Fuller
REFERENCES
1 Peter Rutter, Sex in the Forbidden Zone, 1990, Unwin Hyman,
reviewed in The Homoeopath 1990,10: 2.
2 Spectrum Incest Intervention Project, 7 Endymion Road, London
N4 lEE.