Elaine Lewis

It all started in a 5,000 watt radio station in Fresno, California. ... Oh no, wait; that's Ted Baxter's bio! Where did that come from? I don't know what I can possibly say about myself that hasn't been said 1,000 times by my father ("Elaine, you're not applying yourself!"). Is it my fault that Social Research Methods couldn't compete with Motown? Is it my fault that no one else was willing to start an anti-war organization on my college campus but me? I think not!

It's not that I didn't study....but then there was that semester where I did only take ONE course; and I didn't even have the prerequisites for it at that! It was African History--I still know the capital of Nigeria to this day--it's Lagos, right? See? What could be more impressive! Then there was the night we thought it would be funny to have the fire alarm go off in the middle of the night. How did we ever get away with that? Have I used up my 500 words yet?

Let's move on to the '80's. I was the bass player for the Silhouettes on the "oldies circuit"--you know, they had a #1 hit in '58 called "Get A Job"? I got to meet all the people whose records I bought with my lunch money: The Flamingos, The Drifters, The Shirelles--Shirley is soooooo nice, by the way--Hank Ballard, The 5 Keys, The Jive 5, The 5 Satins--I am not making this up! I had so much trouble with "house bands" taking me seriously--they didn't think I could possibly know anything; I was the only one who knew how to read a lead sheet, but they kept looking to the group to tell them what chords to go to and I'd be saying, "For God's sake, they don't know! The chords are C-Em-Am-Em-Dm-G7!" and they'd be, like, "She's a girl, isn't she?"

Oh, I should probably also mention that I'm a homeopath. I'm a graduate of the Hahnemann Academy of North America. After my daughter, Shana, was born, my career as a bass player, band leader and road manager was over! Actually, I've always been interested in medicine; my whole family is in the medical field--my grandfather was a doctor, my aunt was the first woman to graduate from The Philadelphia College of Pharmacy, my uncle was a pharmacist, I have numerous cousins who are doctors and I actually have a cousin in Australia who's a homeopath! Seriously! Maurice Finkel, where are you?

I'd love to go on talking, but, it's time for me to pick Shana up from school--thank God!

Elaine "Snoopy" Lewis